Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Misconception of the Significance of Belts in the Martial Arts

When newbies enter the dojo, chances are they proceed through the doorway with a preconceived notion relating to the significance of the martial artist's belt. This misconception is mainly a product of the media and pop culture, which have impregnated the minds of the uninitiated with absurd ideas that range from the silly to the inconceivable. Modern motion pictures suggest the black belt designates the wearer as a mysterious and lethal assassin, while the infamous Mr. Miyagi claims the purpose of the belt is to hold up the pants. 

Yeah, well, these concepts are nonsense. First of all, martial artists don't need belts to hold up their pants, because gi pants have either an elastic waistband or a tie, and think about it: No respectable assassin is going openly wear an accessory that marks him as mysterious and lethal. Unbelievably, even legitimate martial artists participate in all the hype by claiming the purpose of the belt is to denote the rank of the wearer. This is blatantly false. An outward affirmation of rank is entirely unnecessary. The various colors are just there to appease the children. The actual purpose of the belt is much more utilitarian. 

For starters, even if it's composed of cheap material, the belt can make a really good noose. A noose is one of the most efficient tools you can implement to convince your training partner to submit. The belt makes a decent trip wire too, although this requires some preparation. Either you have to tie the belt to something and lay in wait to pull it taught, or you have to employ the assistance of a kohai, and they are not always reliable. 

You can also wrap it around your training partner's ankle and run like hell. You should probably bow as you leave the mat, but keep in mind the more time you spend on etiquette, the more likely your training partner's going to grab hold of something, and that will make things difficult. If he's fastened soundly enough that a few robust tugs won't yank him free, you'll have to hurry back and hogtie his wrists to his ankles — which works well enough, but he won't be nearly as fun to drag. 

Folding the belt into halves or quarters allows it to be swung at high velocities like a horse whip. While on this topic, I'd like to mention that if someone is, I don't know, restraining you by your gi jacket while the rest of the class is flogging you with their belts because they found out it was your birthday, don't slip out of your gi jacket to escape. This is foolish. Belts on bare skin hurt.

Recently, I was fortunate enough to visit The Great Temple in Kompaneyskoye, where belts were originally invented. Let me tell you, the guys there are pros. They don't mess around. I saw an old lady take down a polar bear with her belt, which is amazing because she couldn't have weighed more than 88 pounds, and there aren't any polar bears Kompaneyskoye. I know there's a certain Guide out there which advises that you never leave home without your towel, but take it from me, belts are much more deadly. Don't be caught without one, and always carry a backup. 

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